i don't think i could forget

when productivity attacks (aka epic blog fail)

Yes, I'm the worst blogger ever these days. Let's just get that out there. But I have good excuses (note the "s"! You know it's serious when there is more than one excuse!). Seriously blogriends, the last thing I remember was August. I have no idea what has been happening since then and now. Like, it's November? Seriously? This isn't some elaborate joke?

Between querying, working on my WIP, working my full time job, doing the family thing, and doing the friend thing, I feel like I don't even have time to think, but you don't come here to listen to me complain so how about we ignore what an inconsistent blogger I am at the moment and focus on something good...

Umm, well, I don't really have anything good to share except that my total requests for Chameleon is now 15! That sounds much better than it is though because many of those 15 have since passed on the project, citing it isn't quite right for them, but always with lots of positive comments and encouragement and I just want to pull them all in for a giant group hug! And maybe while we're hugging, one of them might change their mind....... Ok, maybe not, but a few truly excellent agents still have partials and there is still lots of hope that it will be just right for one of them. This whole processing is just so emotionally draining because you feel torn between disappointment over rejection and understanding that if the project isn't right for them, then they probably aren't right for you so it's all for the best.

So, since it's November and I'm sure that this month (and next month) will go by so quickly that I'll wake up tomorrow and people will be passed out on my couch, covered in booze and cheetos, mumbling something about "Hooray for 2010!" and I'll be all "Frak, I haven't blogged since early November", I wanted to take a moment to talk about 2009.

I don't recall if I've mentioned this on the blog before, but my birthday is September 9th (or 09/09). This year, my birthday was 09/09/09, which was not only cool cause, come on, it looks cool, it's also cool because 9 has always been a lucky number for me. Because of the whole 09/09 thing, I always pick 9 whenever I have to pick a number for a lottery ticket, or place a bet on roulette or whenever someone at my gamblers anonymous meeting asks me to pick a number between 1 and 10 (ok that last part isn't true. I don't even remotely have a gambling problem. I've been to a casino like twice. Ok maybe three times, but I kinda just go to stare at all the lights and make fun of people. And I hardly ever buy lottery tickets. I shouldn't have even made that joke to begin with because you probably don't believe me, do you? Gamblers always lie about stuff....)

Anyway, the point is that 9 has always been significant to me and it's often paid off. Maybe it's just that I notice 9s more, but I see them pop up all over the place. The floor I lived on in residence at universtiy was even called Could Nine. I don't want you to think I'm some crazy numerology chick or anything (cause you know, liking 9s probably doesn't have anything to do with real numerology, which I know nothing about), but yeah, 9s = lucky number for me.

That took way too long to explain. You're probably super bored now and the pay-off is so not going to be worth it, but here it is:
Since 9 is such a lucky number for me, I entered this year thinking something big would happen. Not "I found ten bucks in the couch big", but big, life-changing even. One could argue that the fact that I finished editing a book and have been querying it to moderate success (success is clearly not the right word here, but you know what I mean) is big, but there's no permanence to it. If none of these queries pan out, I'm back at square one with the next book. Not the big life change I was expecting. I'm starting to feel it isn't coming.

Maybe I'm stupid for putting pressue on a year that has no say in whether or not it contains a 9. Or maybe something big will still happen. It's impossible to say, but I'm still holding out hope that 2009 has something good in store for me. Otherwise, I might have to break-up with you #9. And then I'd have to find a way to change my birthday... Or maybe we can just stay friends?